Patch’s Note: This is written for July (2017) Monthly Simlits – Short Story Challenge and the theme is: July’s Theme: The Face Of. This also forms part of my Kerrigan Legacy series.
If you’re reading this, then I have already passed away. I didn’t tell you all these before because I didn’t want you to worry. You’re such a soft hearted kid, I knew you wouldn’t resist feeling bad for all these people and then you’ll feel conflicted because I’m the one who did all these bad things and you won’t want me to go to jail.
I don’t remember their names. I didn’t bother to. All I know is that I was sleeping… and then the doorbell rang. If you really think about it, it’s like they were asking for it. What kind of human being rings a doorbell deep into the night when you know people are sleeping? One word, paparazzi.
The first one was especially rude. I found her eating my crops. Unforgivable. I spent a lot of time caring for those plants and some green looking freak eats it without asking for permission.
I’m not quite sure what happened. All I remember is that I had a sword and the metal sword part was inside her. It didn’t feel anything when I pushed it in her. I should have felt sad or regret or panic, shouldn’t I? But there was nothing but amusement and that was only because she was begging for me to help her. Stupid, isn’t it? Why would you ask the person who stabbed you to help you?
It was afterwards, when I had gotten rid of the evidence, that I remember perfectly. I’ve always been very antsy. I sit for a little while and I start fidgeting. But after that, there was a calm inside of me that I’ve never felt before. I slept better too.
I had a variety of things at home that I could use. Hammers, pokers, knives. And every time just right after, I would have that peaceful feeling inside of me and I craved it more and more each time it happened.
Eventually, I started wishing someone would ring the doorbell at night.
After the first three, the next ones were easy. I began using poison. It’s easier, in a way.
I had a part time job in the local mafia when I was younger, did I tell you that? It still pays to know people in the right places when you’ve murdered someone. It also easier to procure poisons that you need.
There seems to be a bottomless pit of paparazzi these days, they came one after the other, not even wondering where the previous ones have gone. Still, there was the business of cleaning up after each one and that part was tedious.
We live in a house surrounded by empty lots. The building next to ours didn’t have anyone visiting anymore so it doesn’t even count. This was something that I was very sure I could get away with.
But everyone makes mistakes, even I. I knew I should have used poison that last time but I was feeling stressed and couldn’t resist the hefty weight of a poker. It felt so good, swinging it. I can recall perfectly how my breathing became more and more relaxed the more I felt that piece of metal come contact to flesh. But someone must have seen because I was brought to the police station and questioned.
It wasn’t easy but it wasn’t difficult either. It was more of a nuisance really. They didn’t have any evidence against me. They can’t connect me to the large amount of newly dug up graves at the graveyard. So they let me go.
What I didn’t expect to get from all this, is a friendship with the Grim Reaper. He’s been such a regular at the house that he already knows me. He doesn’t judge, he doesn’t care about my reasons, he just reaps.
I’m telling all you these now that I’ve passed is because first, you never wanted to believe that I was evil, even when I told you directly that I was. But it is important that you believe it because my blood is also yours. It might not affect you directly, but it might affect your children, or your children’s children and you need to take precautions if you think that they have inherited my little quirk.
Second, I want you to know that I’m in a good place after I die. If you were confused as to why I didn’t beg to be returned to life when the Grim Reaper fetched me it’s because I’ve lived my life without regrets and the Grim Reaper and I are friends.
I don’t want this to affect how you think I’ve felt for you while we were together. I’ve loved you since I knew you were growing inside of me. You were my light when I thought I’ve lost everything. We might have had our disagreements but those disagreements have made us closer to each other than before. You and I both know this.
Always remember that I’m proud of what you have done, what you’ve become, and what you will be, whatever it might be. You’re a good person, I know you will be making the right choices in your life.
I won’t blame you if you hate me for what I’ve done. It is true that these people have done nothing to deserve death and I have no excuse. What I want you to know is that whatever my sins might be, they are not a reflection of who you are or who you will be. Remember that.
Try not to worry, none of this is your fault.